Introduction: Style as a Love Letter to Yourself
I’ve always believed that getting dressed is like writing a love letter to yourself. It’s a daily act of intention, a moment where you decide who you want to be before the world gets a say. Personal style isn’t just about clothes—it’s about identity, confidence, and the courage to say, “This is me, take it or leave it.” Over the years, as the founder of Man Repeller and now as a writer navigating the ever-shifting tides of fashion and culture, I’ve learned that maintaining your personal style is less about following trends and more about staying true to the voice inside you that whispers, “This feels right.”
In a world obsessed with algorithms, influencers, and fast fashion, holding onto your style can feel like an act of rebellion. But it’s a rebellion worth fighting for. Style is a language, a way to express who you are without saying a word. It’s how you tell the world you’re not just passing through—you’re here, and you’ve got something to say. In this article, I’ll dive into why maintaining your personal style matters, how it evolves with you, and why it’s worth the effort, even when the world tries to nudge you toward conformity.
The Power of Personal Style: More Than Just Clothes
When I started Man Repeller in 2010, the term “man-repelling” was a cheeky nod to the idea that some fashion choices—think harem pants, oversized blazers, or stacks of mismatched bracelets—might not appeal to the male gaze but were wildly liberating for the women wearing them. The blog was my playground, a space to celebrate the joy of dressing for yourself. But as I grew, so did my understanding of what personal style really means. It’s not just about wearing what’s “cool” or “weird” or “chic.” It’s about wearing what makes you feel like the truest version of yourself.
Style is a form of self-expression that goes beyond aesthetics. It’s a reflection of your values, your experiences, and your sense of humor. For me, it’s pairing a sequined dress with sneakers to wear to the grocery store or throwing a silk scarf over a sweatshirt because, why not? It’s about mixing high and low, traditional and quirky, in a way that feels like a conversation between who I am and who I want to be. As I told Refinery29, “Style is a really important means of expression for me, it’s just not about clothing—it’s actually a really significant part of identity expression in my life.” Losing my style would be like losing my sense of self.
This isn’t to say that style is static. Far from it. Personal style evolves as you do—through life changes, motherhood, career shifts, or even just the slow creep of self-awareness. But maintaining it means staying connected to that core spark, the one that makes you reach for a turquoise choker to wear with a sweater or flare pants with suede moccasins. It’s about trusting your instincts, even when the world screams, “That doesn’t go together!”
Why Maintaining Your Style Matters
In an era where social media floods us with images of “perfect” outfits and fast fashion churns out trends faster than we can keep up, maintaining your personal style is an act of defiance. It’s saying, “I’m not here to blend in.” Here’s why it’s worth the effort:
1. It Anchors Your Identity
Life is chaotic. Between work, family, and the endless scroll of Instagram, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are. Personal style is a tether, a way to ground yourself in the midst of it all. When I became a mother to my twin daughters, Laura and Madeline, I worried that my style might slip away, swallowed by spit-up stains and sleep deprivation. But if anything, motherhood made my style more pronounced. It became a way to hold onto myself, to remind myself that I was still Leandra, even as I navigated this new chapter. As I told Refinery29, “Since becoming a mom, I’ve only come more into myself and become even more self-assured.”
Your style doesn’t have to be loud or eccentric to be meaningful. It can be as simple as a pair of jeans that fit just right or a trench coat that makes you feel like you could conquer the world. The point is, it’s yours. It’s a piece of you that no one can take away.
2. It’s a Form of Creative Expression
Getting dressed is one of the few daily rituals where you get to be your own artist. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, only choices that feel true to you. I’ve always approached styling like a grandmother cooking: a pinch of this, a dash of that, and a whole lot of instinct. As I shared with MatchesFashion, “I strongly believe that any garment has the power to look great if you’ve styled it correctly, and styling always occurs through accessorizing—silk scarves, sunglasses, and long gold-chain necklaces are foolproof items.”
This creative freedom is what makes style so powerful. It’s not about having a limitless budget or a closet full of designer clothes. It’s about taking what you have and making it sing. A thrifted blazer with a vintage brooch can tell a story just as compelling as a Gucci dress. The magic happens when you mix pieces in a way that feels uniquely you.
3. It Builds Confidence
There’s something transformative about wearing an outfit that feels like an extension of yourself. It’s like armor, giving you the confidence to walk into a room and own it. I remember the first time I wore a sequined dress to a daytime meeting. The looks I got ranged from confused to amused, but I felt unstoppable. That’s the power of personal style—it doesn’t just reflect your confidence; it builds it.
Maintaining your style means trusting yourself, even when others don’t get it. It’s knowing that not everyone will love your ripped jeans or your oversized trench coat, but that’s okay. As I told Vogue France, every woman needs “the intelligence to understand not everyone will like it” and “the conviction to do it again.”
4. It Defies Conformity
We live in a world that loves to put people in boxes. Social media algorithms feed us the same trends, the same influencers, the same “must-have” items. But personal style is a middle finger to all that. It’s a refusal to let someone else dictate what you should wear or who you should be.
When I started Man Repeller, we were in a “post-trend era” where individuality was starting to take center stage. As I wrote in 2015, “No longer do we look to the collective cues implemented by an overarching fad to cull our inspiration. Here we celebrate the outlandish and the intimate, the particular and colorful.” That ethos still holds true. Maintaining your style means carving out a space for yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to sell you someone else’s version of “cool.”
How to Maintain Your Personal Style
So, how do you hold onto your style when life gets messy or the world feels like it’s screaming at you to conform? Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way:
1. Trust Your Gut
Style isn’t about rules; it’s about instinct. If something feels right, wear it. If it doesn’t, don’t. I’ve never been one for constructing rigid guidelines about what “works” or “doesn’t.” As I told MatchesFashion, styling is like cooking: “a pinch of something here, a dash of another there.” Trust yourself to know what ingredients work for you.
2. Embrace Evolution
Your style will change as you do, and that’s a good thing. The Leandra who wore harem pants and arm parties in 2010 is not the same Leandra who’s obsessed with flare pants and suede moccasins in 2025. But the throughline is the same: a love for unconventional pairings and a refusal to take fashion too seriously. Don’t be afraid to let your style mature—it’s a sign you’re growing.
3. Accessorize, Always
If I had to pick one secret to making any outfit feel like “you,” it’s accessories. A silk scarf, a bold necklace, or a pair of statement sunglasses can transform even the most basic look. They’re the exclamation points of your outfit, the little details that say, “I meant to do this.”
4. Ignore the Noise
The world will always have opinions about what you wear. Ignore them. Your style isn’t about pleasing others—it’s about pleasing yourself. As I’ve said before, “The courage to wear whatever the hell you want” is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal.
5. Find Joy in the Process
Getting dressed should be fun. If it feels like a chore, you’re doing it wrong. Approach your closet like a playground, not a battlefield. Mix things that don’t “go” together. Wear a party dress to the park. Throw on a crown because it’s Tuesday. The joy of personal style is in the playfulness of it all.
The Legacy of Personal Style
Maintaining your personal style isn’t just about looking good—it’s about living authentically. It’s about showing up as yourself, day after day, in a world that’s constantly trying to make you someone else. For me, style has been a lifeline, a way to navigate the ups and downs of life while staying true to who I am. It’s been there through the early days of Man Repeller, through motherhood, through the challenges of running a business, and now as I explore new creative ventures like my newsletter, The Cereal Aisle.
As I look back on my journey, I’m reminded of something I wrote years ago: “When you live the look, it doesn’t matter if it was determined in 1999 or 2016.” That’s the beauty of personal style—it’s timeless because it’s yours. So, go ahead and wear the ripped jeans, the sequined dress, the suede moccasins. Wear whatever makes you feel like you. Because at the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is the one you see in the mirror.
Leandra Medine Cohen is the founder of Man Repeller and the writer behind The Cereal Aisle newsletter. She lives in New York City with her husband and twin daughters, where she continues to champion the power of personal style.
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